Coming home
My dad came up to Sydney and drove me the few hour drive home. I felt nauseous, groggy and tired and the first test of my new-found cleaning eating diet was to be put to the test when we stopped at a Maccas. Damn ... all those snacks I’d normally enjoy no questions asked were definitely not part of my new lifestyle.
I wasn’t sure how long it would be until I could wear a hard contact lens in my right eye (non graft eye), so we called into Spec Savers to quickly get a new pair of prescription sunglasses for me so that I can go outside. The graft has made my eye incredibly light sensitive and apparently this will be around for a while. I was a little shattered I wouldn’t be able to wear my designer Bvlgari’s for a bit, but was impressed with the range and found a stylish pair from Alex Perry! #lifesaver.
It had been a long afternoon and both dad and I were tired. Dad offered for me to stay at his place but I just wanted my own bed and in the comfort of my own home. Dad brought my bags inside and then said goodbye. I was so exhausted. I walked up to my room and felt so disoriented, ‘what was I going to have for dinner?’, ‘I’m in so much pain’, ‘I’m so tired’, ‘do I have the energy to heat up a frozen dinner?’, ‘can I eat a frozen dinner or is that too processed?’, ‘oh my god was today too long for my eye?’, my thoughts sent me into a spin and I collapsed onto the floor and cried and cried. How did this happen to me? What is happening to my life? How did I get here? One minute it’s Saturday night and I’m out watching a local band with my girlfriends and the next minute it’s Sunday morning and I’m off to the ER and then being told to go to Sydney for an emergency corneal graft. I’m meant to be off work doing my Health and Wellbeing Coach assignment, not recovering from major eye surgery. What is happening?
I sat on my floor, tears streaming down my cheeks. I needed to get my eye drops from the fridge but I didn’t have the energy to get myself there. Feeling alone, sad and in pain... it was a horrible night.
I am at peace with what is.
Miss Nat xoxo