Over the last three years I've been slowly immersing myself in the world of Buddhism.
It started in 2015, when following emergency corneal transplant procedure, my vision continued to finish and I was advised by my doctor that at the current rate of degeneration, I'd be blind by Christmas!
As you could imagine, I didn't take that very well at all. I was a a single girl with a pretty good income and I loved aquiring all the pretty things I could (read: I had lots of shit). I was well respected and excellent at my job and I had a beautiful home that allowed me to store all my things and have a vegetable and herb garden with chickens. Life was plodding along reasonably, and then, it wasn't.
I was fortunate to have an amazing HR lady named Sonia, who had empathy for my struggle and suggested I try Buddhism. It took me a few weeks to click on the link she sent me. I dread it more out of wanting a distraction than thinking it could actually help. By this time my anxiety was controlling me, I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't socialising and I sucked at my job. The cornea transplant caused so much pain and fear (fear of the transplant rejecting and fear of losing all sight), I was a mess!
I started with reading some quotes- ATTACMENT CAUSES SUFFERING
Bloody oath Buddha! All of the anxiety and worry (SUFFERING) I'm feeling right now is because I'm allatched to my pretty clothes, shoes, bedroom, my job, and my social life and the freedom to do what I want when I want.
And.breathe.
I was facing a life without all these things. And at this time I couldn't see a time when I'd be ok.
I immersed myself into the audio world of Buddhism, and man did it resonate!! Fast forward 6 months - I wasn't blind! My eyes had stabilised with low vision - but still something! And I enrolled in my first Buddhist meditation course, with whom was to be not only my first Buddhist teacher, but a great mentor and friend - Norbu.
I took to Buddhist meditation like a duck to water. The teachings made sense and coupled with the meditation practice, my entire life changed. I was actually becoming a better person and I felt better and people could see it.
Not u is a member of the Tibetan Buddhist Society of Canberra and invited his students to attend their events. This is where I met Lama Choédek Rinpoche, a knowledge and relatable, esteemed man from Tibet.
I felt like I was part of a community, I beloved in their beliefs and values, I love not having a higher god to entrust all of my hopes and fears with. I love that Buddhism respects all cultures and extends that to all sentient beings. They believe in a world of kindness and happiness, using compassion and wisdom and doing what we can to alleviate suffering of all, and simply being happy.
I slowly stepped deeper into the ocean of Buddhism and am gaining so many insights and when I understand a concept better, I have this biggest moment of 'ah! I get it!' and I want to share that with you.
I'm starting this blog the day before I go into six weeks of retreat. I wanted to share the my raw insights, learnings and feelings as they arise.
I hope you enjoy my reflection on the Buddhist path.
I look forward to hearing your stories too.