Happy New Year to all of my readers, I hope you have had a nice break and have made some wishes for 2016.
I can't believe it's been 11 weeks since my last post. It's been a rough 11 weeks, I put a lot of energy into the official launch of Insight 2 Sight and was excited to finally release myself to the world, but then these new severe headaches kicked in and totally flawed me. My days turned into spending 5 hours at work and then needing 2-3 hours afterwards sitting in the dark resting my eyes and praying for the pain to stop long enough for me to prepare some dinner and either tidy up or prepare my food for work the next day.
I postponed my life coaching study, reduced my social interaction to only once or twice on the weekend and tried to do nothing during the week unless it was a special occasion. I reduced my exercise to 20 minutes a day and quit the gym. I stopped using my computer at home and only used it for work as I get so much pain from focussing on things that are up close.
I've been journalling away at home but found it hard to find the energy to write a post on the laptop. I've learnt so much about myself over this time, let me summarise the highlights for you:
I hated going to work each day - and after contemplation and discussion with my psychologist and specialist I realised that it wasn't work I hated, it was the fact that after work I have to lie in the dark for 2-3 hours. Once I transformed my way of thinking and realised it wasn't the job but the after affects, it made going to work each day easier and I then started showing myself some compassion for my body's need to rest each day.
Love heals everything - I've started to share my honest thoughts and feelings with my friends and opened up this whole new world of connection. I thought that showing I was strong and could do this was the way to get through it, but once I opened up my heart and let others in I have found I feel better and feel supported, like I can do this, I'm not alone.
The other thing I've been focussing on is mindfullness .... *Mindfulness is the key to sanity"...,Each and every day I am confronted with the fear of something that I'm doing affecting my cornea graft. The fear is consuming and some days I can barely function. Connecting mindfully to what I'm doing, meditating, doing self-reiki, eating nutrious food, walking, and finding things to relax me have really helped me stay alive and not need medication to calm my mind. I am pretty excited over the new anchor I've found to bring me back to mindfulness. Each time I hear or see a bird my mind automatically relaxes and focusses on them. It may be for a second, or for a whole minute, but that's time I get to empty my mind and relax. Anchoring is something I learnt in coaching and is a great way to train your mind to snap out of one train of thought and move on to something better, happier and stronger.
I've passed the main hurdle ... I can now say that I will know how much vision has been restored by Christmas THIS year, so that's a great shift. Less than 12 months to go ...
I can do this