I can't

All that goes through my head is I can't.

I can't exercise

I can't do yoga

I can't swim in a pool

I can't jog

I can't go to the gym

I can't go for long bushwalks

I can't swim in the ocean

I can't drive at night

I can't drive in the rain

I can't park my car

I can't do my job

I can't handle the pressure at work

I can't read the computer screen without assistive technology

I can't read a magazine or a book without getting headaches

I can't find time to study my Health and Wellbeing Coach course

I can't do anything after work because I'm so exhausted

I can't go out to dinner because I can't afford it on reduced pay

I can't go out dancing

I can't go out drinking

I can't hang out with my friends like I want to

I can't have sex

I can't find love

I can't do anything.

I can't handle the anxiety

I can't handle the pain

I can't handle the fear of my graft rejecting

I can't handle the fear of going blind

I can't even update my website often because computer screens just hurt my eyes.

I learnt to replace 'I can't' with 'I wont be able to for a while'. I know it should help, but I miss living my life.

I am not at peace with what is ....

Miss Nat

xoxox